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Humanity Lost, Tails Found (TLS Parody)
Starring * Lachlina MC, the reverse-gender clone of Lachie MC - LPI * Sonic.EXE, the Smiling Slasher - Trollpasta Wiki Featuring * Espio The Chameleon (SEGA) * Rotor The Walrus (SEGA) * Breezy The Hedgehog (SEGA - Adventures Of Sonic The Hedgehog) Appearances * Unknown Details in General When Lachlina was born, something went wrong with how Sonic.EXE played his own game. (This is the official. The alpha release was just a test.) Note: Contains realistic/cartoonic/graphic detail of characteristics and coarse language. The Spinpasta (remade for TLS viewers) Narrated by SuperLachlina64 (Lachlina MC) which is split into two parts, Story and Script, both by the same person Fun Fact! (Publisher's Notes) Tails’ character design had undergone many changes from the earliest builds of Sonic, once Tails was was a raccoon but it was rejected for being too similar to Mario’s raccoon transformation, another build for Tails had him as a female and much to my regret I always preferred the idea of Tails being a woman and fighting Amy for Sonic’s affection. That pretty much sums up what this clutterf&$k is. - Fun Facts By Lachlan MC Magee Part 1: The Main Story {stub} Sonic The Hedgehog... If I ever hear that name again it would be too soon., I think to myself, as I look at the gloves I have on that I can take off, but perfer to keep on to continue my spirit. I may have the name "Lachlina", but usually I call myself Miley, the female version of Tails, that you idiots draw differently every time you access one of those sites. I remember many details about my human life, and my name is definitely one of them. Before I can tell you who I was, you should know who my friends are and my opposite person. If you are familiar with Creepy Pastas (as I’m sure you are because you’re reading a spinoff of one XD) then I know that you know Sonic.EXE. It’s the most famous gaming creepypasta there is outside of Ben Drowned or Lavender Town or even The Deepest Sleep (see GameJolt Games To Try!). Oh, wait. The game is going on right now, Lachie booted it up. I can see him through the monitor, waving at me and motioning that he's coming in. I have the time to write this, if he’s not at the PC I can do whatever. So I’m writing what I know is my memoirs. I think he will later but for now, let's get on with how I came to be, shall we? Chapter 1: Play The Game! Well, I can't entirely remember what on earth I was doing BEFORE that message, but I was playing with the Title Card Generator for Sonic Mania. Eventually I had received a private message in my inbox. I clicked on it and noticed the username was "Smiling Slasher" with a Sonic.EXE face sprite, a bit more realistic. When I clicked his info, it 404'd for a few seconds and ignored that instead. This is what he wrote: "Your devotion to your art is quite touching, Lachlan. I am working on a game and wanted your opinion on it. You will know how to contact me at the end of your playthrough, because honestly, I'll get to your world and contact YOU instead. I’d like you not to share this game with anyone as it’s not finished yet and I’m a little curious about its contents. - Smiling Slasher, Sonic.EXE" Below the message was a link to a megaupload download page, the link said "Sonic.EXE: The Grand Finale" I clicked on it and downloaded a game called the exact same thing. The logo was a rainbow ring, with minor blood included. Oh, I wish I could ask if he'd like to play it with me, that way multiplayer would be more fun... (regardless there isn't one. Forgot bout that) I loaded it up and plugged in my custom-modded Genesis Controller I normally reserve for my Sega Genesis emulator. I found that it was the Sonic.EXE logo, but with Sonic.EXE doing the same thing as Sonic would do in the StH 1 title screen. I also noticed the copyright date wasn't 666, which was a bit odd. "Is this some kind of joke?" I said. "Then why not make the copyright date say 666 while you’re at it!" A text blurb (similar to a Text Box) showed up under the Sonic.EXE title logo. "Let me fix that for you, Lachlan," it said. My name was Lachlina, but I was cloned from him (see Origins season), if that makes any sense. After the blurb disappeared the copyright dated revealed my exact opinion, only with "© SEGA/TLS 666" instead. I'm still unsure what happened when I did that, but I shrugged. I got up and grabbed the drink bottle I usually keep on a table next to the bed, but as I did the game exclaimed "HEY! FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED!" which surprised me. "What?" was all I could say. "YOU’RE STALLING! The portal between worlds is open until you finish the game!" it said. "Portal?" I said. Pardon? Portals could be opened by computers? I didn't believe it at the time, but I sure do now. At the time, Lachie actually was making turkey for Christmas and was using the oven for it. As he was getting it the smoke alarm occurred in the living room AND in the kitchen. Surely he couldn't burn both of them? "Warning: Fire detected in Main Kitchen & Main Lounge Room," said a computerised voice above my bedroom ceiling, where I was playing the computer. "What did that just say?" I said, unsure what that meant. "There’s a fire in your kitchen, and you must not save him until you, PLAY, THE, GAME. Besides, he'll save himself, he always does," was the game's response. "Fine, let's get on with it," I said. "I always wanted to see new Sonic.EXE content." "I am Sonic.EXE, though," said the game. I ignored that and pressed Enter to start. I prayed that Lachie got the fire under control for now. Chapter 2: Death Wish Confirmed? The screen faded to black and cut back in on a character select screen with a red background of three characters, Espio The Chameleon, Rotor The Walrus, and Breezy The Hedgehog (from that one episode of the old Sonic The Hedgehog... I think). I just started with Espio because sometimes Ninjas can survive anything. After the game started I found myself on the Mushroom Hill Zone stage from Sonic & Knuckles with the stage name listed as “Death Wish”. The music was now severely slowed down, but still recognizable as the Mushroom Hill Theme, now sounding like the same song (but in serious need of antidepressants). As I started controlling Espio I noted he seemed depressed as he walked slowly, kinda like the Nightmare Beginning sprites of Sonic.EXE's. I looked a little sad for him, even though I don't know how he got that way. Maybe Vector was in prison because of him? Espio just looked my way after fifteen steps and sighed. Above him in purple text were the words. “It would be better if you died tonight.” When the blurb disappeared, Sonic.EXE appeared behind Espio with the same bleeding eyes from the title screen looking angrily at the chameleon who now had his mouth shut. He gave Espio a kunai and then I could finally control Espio running at full speed. I went through the stage not really doing much platforming or loop de loops. But instead there were just three pillars each with a Mecha Rotor on top of it with the generic motobug enemies below the pillars, each with the word “Freedom” written on each of them. I threw kunais at each of them destroying them, Sonic appearing and doing an audible chuckle sounding much like Kefka from Final Fantasy Six each time one of the motobugs blew up, after this happened platforms showed up allowing me to jump up and attack the Mecha Rotors which threw fireballs at me in retaliation. Each time I got hit Espio’s eyes would roll back in pleasure as he fell to the side dying, only for Sonic.EXE to reappear and bring him back to life by making it rain rings upon him. Something that always made Espio cry a little each time, I had this happen twice before I got really determined not to get hit as I could already smell the smoke coming into my room. Though I don't think that was the fire smoke. Probably the food. (If only he knew about the oven mitts being next to the actual fire extinguisher.) Once all the Mecha Rotors were destroyed, a severed body part from what appeared to be Rotor himself appearing from each one, his legs from the first, his torso from the second, and from the third and highest up robot his head. The screen faded to black with blue text appearing. “Espio has played well, do you believe he deserves a reward?” The text said before going back to Mushroom Hill Zone. “Just between you and me, I don’t, he is a sniveling coward who should just shut up and surrender to the joys that I bring to this world.” The title card now said “Death Wish Act 2: Just Desserts". This time it was at Night with Espio high up on a cliff looking happily as he pointed down the cliff. I assumed I meant I should jump down it which I did. Though it was just a cheap sixteen bit sprite I had not seen someone look so at peace as he did when he descended from that cliff hurdling head first to spikes below. I looked on being curious. Espio closed his eyes, the second he did so Sonic.EXE appeared and placed an invulnerability box right below the Chameleon, Espio crying as the Invulnerability Chime played in its normally chipper tune. Sonic laughed at this sight continuously until Espio took out his kunai and decapitated himself, Sonic.EXE paused his laughter and looked at Espio, his head looking around frantically as if confused to still be alive. The laughter continued once more before the screen faded to black and displayed a text blurb that was white. “There is nothing in the world that happens unless I allow it to. My land is a Land Of The Deceased and The Demonic, even if I did let that idiot die. He’d just fade into a dreamless sleep for a few months. Of course, a month isn’t as long in my world as it is in the human world. Not that I’d tell him that.” I felt real bad for that poor b&$74rd... Even if he killed himself that twisted Sonic.EXE ruined his life. Chapter 2: Do Not Hit Blue I was back at the character select screen with Espio now glowing with invulnerability stars with his head in his hand. I chose Rotor next in a rush to get to the next stage. I have to escape the insanity, I have to escape Sonic.Exe, I can’t let neither of them catch me. (I knew I could get them, but I was wrong too.) Rotor was in the Ice Cap Zone from Sonic 3 with the caption “Power Wish”, everything was normal at first glance, despite the background music being all static and that snow was coming down hard. In my worry I pushed left instead of right where I found an exploded automatic warhead. It hit me, this was snow, this odd ash was the exploded nuclear weapon. This became more apparent as I went to the right and found various ruined buildings each with a robot part for me to collect. The stage was like a big maze constructed to be as infuriating and long as possible, but once I had all the robot parts the screen faded to black with the text that Rotor said, even his voice was heard, as white text shown. “I can stop him, you will help me won’t you? Just remember the sequence, Green, Red, Yellow, Red, Green. Do not hit Blue!” When he said "Green", the entire text went green. Same for "Red", which the entire text went red. "Yellow" also went yellow for the entire text, but when it went "Blue", it cut to the game. When it cut back to the game I was at some kind of cave with a color coded floor and Sonic floating on the right side of the screen. The Boss Fight music from Sonic 3 now played as Rotor looked towards me with a thumbs up. A machine appeared with a laser cannon attached and dropped Sonic in its beam, the being looking like he was struggling. I jumped on the floor in the sequence I was told Green, Red, Yellow, and Red… this part was easy and so was avoiding Blue as it was a miniscule portion of the floor that I couldn’t have hit if I had tried. I jumped up to hit Green one more time when the entire floor turned blue causing the machine to explode and from it the Seven Chaos Emeralds came forth and surrounded Sonic.EXE turning him into Super Sonic.EXE though his eyes now bled blue blood instead of red. He did a quick hand gesture as Rotor fell apart into three pieces, his head, his torso, and legs. Each of them were then placed into three Mecha Rotors summoned forth from the remnants of the machine. "Hey!" said Rotor. "Lachlan was going well until you changed the whole place blue!" "I couldn't help it," said Super Sonic. “You hurt me. You actually managed to hurt me, Rotor. You always were a crafty one. You have been a thorn in my side for too long. Now your Anti-Sonic.DLL has nothing on my fanclub. Long Live the Cult of X! You’ll learn the hard way that there are three of them for every one of you.” The screen faded out and went back to the character screen. Chapter 3: Breezy's Granted Wish Is A Failed Wish Breezy was the only character left, Rotor now replaced with three Mecha Rotors not unlike the ones Espio fought. Am I playing these in the right order? Or was that not the first time Rotor was like that in this crazy game. “One stage, one more stage and I’m outta here!” I said as I played Breezy’s stage. Breezy’s stage was an altered version of the Chemical Plant Zone stage from Sonic 2 only with more loop de loops and the purple water was now blood and the stage itself look rusted. The music was music I recognized, but it was Don’t Cry Jennifer from the Super Nintendo “Clock Tower:The First Fear” as opposed to any Sonic music. Once it started the caption said “Granted Wish”, as this was the tamest stage of the three and the most fun I felt... it was indeed the granted wish. Once Breezy got to the end and jumped on the capsule instead of ending the stage it launched a missile, not unlike the one in Rotor’s Stage. Here I expected it to end, but instead Breezy just walked up to Super Sonic and gave her a hug. She turned to me and she spoke to with text written below it. “I love my new body, all I had to do to get it was kill my best friend and my family in front of Lord Sonic.EXE. Is there anything in this or another world worth more to you than love?” There was a text prompt allowing me to enter something in, I quickly typed “Let me in and I will tell you.” And pressed enter. “I see that you would like to see beyond the screen... Very well then. We will be ready in a few moments. Just remember that the Dishonest are not welcome in the Cult Of X.” Was the response I got from Sonic.EXE when I did so. The game then went to a screen of Breezy rubbing under Sonic.EXE’s chin flying over Espio fumbling trying to catch his head as all three Mecha Rotors surrounded him with “Welcome To Sonic.EXE's World” written in red. The PC turned off for a moment. I think the fire stopped but I could hear a siren outside and noticed a police car outside. What where they doing here? "I had Tails from Sonic 3D Blast in the middle of a Female Symbol before," said the same voice from behind me. I turned around and it was the same hedgehog. "It went much too wrong." "Oh?" I thought. "Now let's get the hell out of here!" he said, as he grabbed my soul immediately and went straight in. I think at that time Lachie just got in to see that, but it was already too late to save me. I think that's how he knows I'm in here. Chapter 4: What Made Him Become Random (aka This Doesn't Mean He's Entirely Evil...) I still had the body I had before I came into the world I was in beforehand, only when I left the real world I became CGi. "So," I said when we got out of the portal that the computer had, "this is your own world?" "Indeed. This is pretty much where the main characters become their own," the hedgehog snickered. I looked around seeing the sky was red and the world around me was blackened and made of what looked like various Sonic levels meshed together chaotically with no rhyme or reason. "Oh... is this the only location?" "No," he said. "This is only the place you start at. We go to the true 'Hill' zone first, then what next is up to you or me." That was when the characters I played as showed up, the headless Espio came close holding his head up to me. Espio looked even more real than I did regardless of his CGi. The purple monstrosity also had minor blood splurting out of his neck. "At least you know the real world is actually here, that and you did your best," said his head. "We heal overtime, but--" he coughed a bit, "f**k, does this hurt..." Rotor was next to show, in 3 pieces like in the game. Breezy didn't seem to have anything wrong despite the same eyes as Sonic.EXE. "Oh, by the way," said Sonic.EXE, "I’m Smiling Slasher, what did you think of my game?" "..." I was unsure what to say then. "I got no clue." We kept walking through Hill when I suddenly had a thought. "Say, whatever happened to Cole?" I asked him personally. "Like I said, I found out that Cole was cheating and had to be punished," he said. "Don't worry, he's not dead... but Derek is... wait, how'd you know that?" "I read all your pastas," I said back. "Does that make you a Tails fan?" "Maybe," said Breezy. "I never knew." "They all fight at the beginning," said Espio, reconnecting his head. "Sorry to do this, Sonic, but I can't hold it forever." His head slid off, and he growled. "What?" said Breezy. Espio shouted in annoyance and kept shouting. "Goddamn you Sonic.exe!!!" he screamed as he kicked his head straight at Cream (the creepypasta character, not the actual character) from close by. We were actually all surprised, to say the least. "Ahh, the sounds of sorrow," said Sonic, seeming completely oblivious to that event. "Its music to my ears." He turned to me. "And so is your name." "I'm a fan of the Tails character," I said. "Didn't he say he wanted to be Miley eariler?" said Espio, reconnecting his head (this time, successfully). "Miley?" said Sonic. "That two-tailed female fox?! How?" He looked back at me. "Oh. I guess that's ok then..." "What are you talking about?" I said. "Uh, kid. Your hands," he said. I looked at them, and they somehow had white latex gloves that Tails had. "How the hell did I get these?" I said. "The process already started..." said Cream. "Process? What are you talking about?!" I said. "Transformation," she said. "Tran-for-what?" I said, as orange fur bursting out through the gloves coated my body. "It varies on the animal," Sonic said. "In your case, it's the female fox. Basically, you're just changing to a new fox just like you intended." I was a bit confused when he said that, but also shocked that it happened so soon. Although I screamed in pain as my jaw re-arranged itself into a fox muzzle. I was able to talk again, but only a few seconds afterwards. I felt like crying, but only because of the pain of that. "Agh, that hurt," I said, my vocal cords fixing itself to Miley's voice. "Not comparing to what happens afterwards," said Sonic to Cream. Cream just gave a puzzled look at him, unsure what he's talking about. I was about to scream out in pain again as two fox tails burst from my spine bringing my face to tears and me onto the floor face down. "Jesus, how long is this gonna go on?" said Breezy. "She looks seriously hurt..." "Trust me," said Sonic. "It'll all be over in a while." He put his foot on my head, but didn't put any force on it. "Thankfully, the woman issue is already not needed, because you're technically now a female," said Sonic. "But I WAS a female!!!" I sobbed. Actually, I wasn't entirely one, but only from the waist up I was one. I would have gotten up, but my body was still morphing. "Not just in reality anymore," said Sonic. "Here you're fully female." I gulped. "Fully?" I said. "Welcome to Hell," he laughed in his usual demonic voice as he disappeared. Oh, and no—I never saw him again that day. And yes, the days ARE the same in your world, but I'm not telling Zalgo Magee that. I struggled to get up then but once I finally did I found two orange breasts starring in in the face as my hips cracked my backside ballooning in size. As I stood I did lose what was between my legs, but it was NOT painless. (The reason why I say this? Have you ever had your flesh tear open to make lips or an entire womb grow inside of you? That was horrendous to me, but at least I finally am classified as a true female.) I look down at my feet and find I’m always wearing red shoes that only I can take off. I pray that it's all over... but I never felt any more pain, and I now look just like Miley. Well, I am. But I'm still named Lachlina, aren't I? "Is it over?" I said, unsure what next. (At this point, the vocal cords were finally fixed to sound like Miley, by the way.) "Yeah," said Cream, "but even he told us this, we will all be three dimensional and realistic as long as the game isn’t being played." "Won't Tails be the only one being played?" I said. "No," she said. "That's you in bonus level 1." "What do you mean?" I said, unsure what that level was. Was she mentioning the Lava Reef-looking zone? "That Lava zone thing," she said. "The one that says 'The Fires Await'." Yep. That was the one. "Oh." I shrugged and turned to everyone. "Should we just get something to drink now that this is all over?" "I suppose we can trust you," said Espio. "At least that's not only your head," said Cream, chuckling. Espio elbowed her stomach and held a ninja star. "I'm a character first, a creepypasta second, so don't think I wouldn't chop your head off and throw your DUI-ass in the SLAMMER!!!" shouted Espio. He grabbed a open beer that was laying on the floor, drank it, then raised his hands. "Alright, let's a-wassail!!" he shouted as he ran off. Everyone, even me, joined the run out. You know, I think this might work out after all. But for now, I think it's time you seen plenty more of our lives' stories. And they're all true. Every last one. Name's Lachlina, and at last I can have my own true origins on this goddamn wiki. Now get out of here before he comes after you too. -- Lachlina MC Like What You Just Read? Read The Ultimate Creepypastas/Stories We Made For Parodify-ing! Tailsmo: City of the Dead - TLS Remastered SuperGoat64YT Presents: Fun Is Infinite (The L2: Nightmare Beginning Expansion Pack Version) Sonic.EXE: Stuck There For A Year (also by Lachlina MC) Sally.EXE: Darkest Struggles (TLS Parody) - Upcoming Creepypasta by Me and Lachlina LCMCdotEXErules2: The Creepypasta Game - Upcoming Storyline Version LCMCdotEXErules2: ??? x3 - Upcoming Creepypastaz Humanity Lost, Tails Found (TLS Edition) <-- You are here. Clicking it will play the pasta again. More of the TLS Origins episodes? GameJolt Games To Play! I mentioned earlier that these games could be useful to understand this clutterfudge, but I can't provide the links from the phone. You'll have to look them up on Google or GameJolt yourself if there isn't any links. WARNING: SOME OF THESE ARE DEMOS. PLEASE FOLLOW THE AUTHORS TO FIND ANY UPDATES ON THAT GAME. Sonic.EXE: The Game By MY5TCrimson (major inspiration) Sonic.EXE & Sally.EXE: Nightmare Beginnings (extremely major inspiration)